(To the tune of "Cry Me A River")
Lyrics (c) Debbie

They know my height
They stalk my friends
And they know where I'm gonna be before I do, oh
Memorized every dance
They've made wedding plans
And I know that they've practiced writing Mrs. NSYNC, yeah

They don't have to scream, "Oh my God!"
Every single time
Someone says my name
Seems that there's no chance, they'll ever stop, they'd bribe a cop
And, man, it makes me scared about it

They tell me they love me
Why do they haunt me, every night
"I Love You" posters taunt me
At the concerts, scary sight
These "fans" are deranged, they need to be estranged
Far away from us
It gives me the creeps, and now I can't sleep
Because
Teenies will eat me
Teenies will eat me, eeep
Teenies will eat me
Teenies will eat me, eeep *sob* *sob*

Every little thing
About me they've memorized and know
These Teenies follow me anywhere regardless of the prices
(They'll pay some crazy prices)
And all of these girls that are squealing
Are everywhere I go
(Everywhere I go)
And if I dare change my hair
Then its a major crisis
(Dude...)

They don't have to scream, "Oh my God!"
(Don't have to scream, "Oh my God!")
Every single time
(Every single time)
Someone says my name
Seems that there's no chance, they'll ever stop, they'd bribe a cop
(No chance, never stop)
And, man, it makes me scared about it

They tell me they love me
Why do they haunt me, every night
(Every night)
"I Love You" posters taunt me
At the concerts, scary sight
(At the concerts, scary sight)
These "fans" are deranged, they need to be estranged
Far away from us
(Take them away, Lonnie)
It gives me the creeps, and now I can't sleep
(Can't sleep)
Because
Teenies will eat me
(Sneak in and just)
Teenies will eat me, eeep
(Sneak in and just)
Teenies will eat me
(They will sneak in and just)
Teenies will eat me, eeep *sob* *sob*

Dang
(DANG)
These Teenies are fast
So I'd better start running
Dang
(DANG)
These Teenies are fast
So I'd better start running
Dang
(DANG)
These Teenies are fast
So I'd better start running
Dang
(DANG)
These Teenies are fast
So I'd better start... running

They don't have to scream, "Oh my God!"
(Don't have to scream, "Oh my God!")
Every single time
(Every single time)
Someone says my name
Seems that there's no chance, they'll ever stop, they'd bribe a cop
(No chance, never stop)
And, man, it makes me scared about it

Teenies will eat me
(Sneak in and just)
Teenies will eat me, eeep
(They will sneak in and just)
Teenies will eat me
(Scared they'll sneak in and just)
Teenies will eat me, eeep *sob* *sob*

Teenies will eat me
(They will sneak in and just)
Teenies will eat me, eeep
(Sneak in and just)
Teenies will eat me
(Sleep, sleep, I'll never sleep)
Teenies will eat me, eeep *sob* *sob*
(Ain't gonna sleep no more, *sob* *sob*)

Teenies will eat me
Teenies will eat me, eeep
Teenies will eat me, eeep
Teenies will eat me, eeep

Teenies will eat me, eeep
(Eat me, eat me)
Teenies will eat me, eeep
(Eat me, eat me)
Teenies will eat me, eeep
(Eat me, eat me)
Teenies will eat me, eeep
(Eat me, eat me)

Teenies will eat me, eeep
(Eat me, eat me)
Teenies will eat me, eeep
(Eat me, eat me)
Teenies will eat me
(Eat me, eat me)

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