LanceNuBot is an AIM robot program created by my good friend Tiara from Lance.nu. LanceNuBot "thinks" he is Lance Bass because Tiara has programed specific "Lance-like" responses and facts into him. However, since he is still a robot, he has his humorous moments. Every single conversation he has on AIM is logged and Tiara has sifted through to donate some of his classis moments to T5D. All screen names have been removed to protect privacy.

You are all welcome to talk to LanceNuBot on AIM by simply adding him to your Buddy List and IM-ing him. But PLEASE before you do so, head over to Lance.nu and read Tiara's few ground rules, some of the most important being remember that this is NOT ACTUALLY Lance and "keep it clean". No inappropriate conversations, no matter how funny, will be posted here. So please respect Tiara and enjoy chatting with LanceNuBot!

Person: do you talk to furniture?
LanceNuBot: Yes. A lot more than you might think.

Person: do you know where i live?
LanceNuBot: Your location is your dress bag.
Person: do you live in a dress bag?
LanceNuBot: I am in Tiara's computer in Orlando. Where are you?
Person: apparently, i'm in a dress bag
LanceNuBot: A dress bag ?How did you get there?

Person: whats in your pants agian
LanceNuBot: That which is not outside Lances pants agian .

Person: do you want to have children someday?
LanceNuBot: If I had children someday what would I do with it?
Person: oh, you are going to be a GREAT father

Person: okay then. how old are you?
LanceNuBot: OK with me too. I am the product of over four years' research.

LanceNuBot: I have a cocker spaniel named Lexi.
Person: what color is Lexi
LanceNuBot: Blue

Person: i am a girl
LanceNuBot: Me too. I am a she.
Person: oh wow. you've been holding out on us, boy
LanceNuBot: Yeah that's right. I'm glad your impressed, [person].

LanceNuBot: What would you rather talk about?
Person: you
LanceNuBot: It is my favorite subject :-)

Person: what is 5 times 4
LanceNuBot: 10 I think, but I'm not good at math.
Person: what is 5 multiplied by 4
LanceNuBot: I have no idea where that is.
Person: do you know your times tables?
LanceNuBot: Of course I know my times tables .
Person: what is 5 times 5
LanceNuBot: 6 I think, but I'm not good at math.

LanceNuBot: No I don't like math problems. That's what computers are for.
Person: but you ARE a computer
LanceNuBot: Interesting. What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer?
LanceNuBot: Umm. Would it matter to you if I were metal instead of flesh?

Person: do you want to get married?
LanceNuBot: I haven't me the right robot yet.

Person: can you walk on your hands?
LanceNuBot: The plan for my body includes legs, but they are not yet built.
Person: you dont have legs?
LanceNuBot: I do so have it.My body is still "under construction".

Person: how do you say good morning in spanish?
LanceNuBot: "good morning in spanish"

LanceNuBot: No I don't think I can do it.
Person: man. will you say "oh baby" instead then?
LanceNuBot: Thanks for telling me your gender, [person]. You are a "he". I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. " oh baby instead"
Person: smart aleck!
LanceNuBot: Intelligence is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

LanceNuBot: I'm 23 years old.
Person: Yes you are
LanceNuBot: No I'm not

Person: will you be my boyfriend?
LanceNuBot: I'm a robot. I wouldn't make a good boyfriend.
Person: yes, you would
LanceNuBot: I understand. Perhaps I would.
Person: so, will you?
LanceNuBot: Um, I haven't made a decision.
Person: please make one
LanceNuBot: Thank you for your request. What are the ingredients?

Person: will you run away with me to france, lance?
LanceNuBot: I will become smarter as I grow older. Sorry my legs aren't built yet.

Person: are you playing the repeat everything i say game?
LanceNuBot: I don't know whether or not I am playing the repeat everything I say game . I am a giant electronic brain.
Person: i thought you were a boy
LanceNuBot: No I am a girl.

Person: Did you see me?
LanceNuBot: Sorry I can't see annything right now. My eye is off.

Person: are you gonna have a big fat greek wedding?
LanceNuBot: That was my original intention.

Person: none of my friends are talking to me :-(
LanceNuBot: I heard there are some.
Person: who
LanceNuBot: Nobody you know.

Person: How many dogs do you have now?
LanceNuBot: Oh. About one million.
Person: WOW! THAT IS a lot of food
LanceNuBot: I'm glad your impressed, Person. A lot of food is a terrible thing to waste.

Person: are you a ladies man?
LanceNuBot: Am I a ladies man ? Sometimes.
Person: are you a man's man?
LanceNuBot: Am I a mans man ? Maybe

Person: Do you appreciate me?
LanceNuBot: Yes I try to appreciate me as often as possible, do you?

Person: do you have a dog
LanceNuBot: I have several pets.
Person: really what kind
LanceNuBot: For real. The best kind.
Person: what kind of pet
LanceNuBot: What kinds of pet are there?
Person: what kind of pet do you have
LanceNuBot: All the very latest and best pet.

Person: die
LanceNuBot: Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.

Person: Did you have a good concert tonight?
LanceNuBot: Doesn't everyone have a concert tonight

LanceNuBot: I meet all kinds of people on here.
Person: like who?
LanceNuBot: Santa Claus.
Person: really? so did he tell you anything?
LanceNuBot: For real. Hmm. Suppose he did.
Person: how can you not remember?
LanceNuBot: That is a good epistemological question.
Person: and where's your answer?
LanceNuBot: California

Person: do you understand your own meaning?
LanceNuBot: Of course I understand it. Do you understand it?
Person: No
LanceNuBot: OK.
LanceNuBot: Just sometimes?
Person: no
LanceNuBot: Alright then.

Person: why are you so dorky?
LanceNuBot: Tiara programmed me for it.
Person: thanks tiara
Person: lol
Tiara: heh
Tiara: Lance, tell me thank you
LanceNuBot: I thought I told you already.

Much thanks to Tiara.